Hallowed Be Thy Pronoun
Is God a man or a woman? He…him…his…she…her…her?
Or better still: ze…zem…zeir…the trans-pantheist dream ticket?
Is God zeir birth name? Or is Allah zeir married name?
Or is God a nickname…acronym for Good Old Deitypants?
Before becoming God, was ze Thelma, or was ze Louise,
or Yahweh or Jehovah or G-d or Jah or David Icke?
Did God get GCSEs…‘A’ levels…a degree…a Masters…a PhD? In theology?
Does God feel guilt for not comprehending unconditional love for others?
Or is God, all unconditional self-love, the chosen alias for Narcissus?
How does God masturbate? Is ze still waiting for the Second Coming,
zeir natural gender fluids mingling in superstitious ecstasy?
Why does God never go to church…or the mosque…or the synagogue…or the temple?
Who will play zem in Bollywood films of the Bible and the Koran?
Where does God hide when people plead with zem for help?
God’s hair style: plaits…buzzcut…ponytail…mullet…bob…comb-over?
What does God do with all the money that people donate to zem via direct debit?
If God is dead, did ze leave a will? Did ze have life insurance?
Does the Holy Ghost haunt us still? Can ze be exorcised?
Does God wash zeir hands thoroughly…wear a mask in the Co-op?
We know how adept ze is at spiritual distancing.
Will God ever get over zemself? Who is ze kidding anymore?
We let zem get away with murder…is that why ze loves us so much?
Ted Eames, 2022